How to Fight a TRO in New Jersey
You just got served with a TRO. The hearing already happened – without you. The judge already decided, based entirely on what the other side said, and you weren't even in the room. About 90% of Temporary Restraining Orders in New Jersey are granted in these ex parte proceedings where defendants don't get to speak. The deck was stacked before you knew the game had started.
Right now everything feels like it's moving too fast. You've been kicked out of your home. You can't contact your spouse or your kids. And you have roughly 10 days before a hearing that could make all of this permanent – not temporary, permanent. We get it. This is terrifying.
Welcome to Spodek Law Group. Here's what most people don't understand: the TRO isn't the real fight. The FRO hearing is. And in New Jersey, a Final Restraining Order has no expiration date. Forever. What happens in that 10-day window determines the rest of your life – your career, your firearm rights, your relationship with your children, everything.
This article explains exactly what you're facing, what mistakes will destroy your case before the hearing even starts, and what actually works to fight a restraining order in New Jersey. Our goal is to give you real information, not the sanitized version you find elsewhere.
The TRO Already Happened Without You
In New Jersey, a TRO is issued "ex parte" – a legal term meaning the judge decides based only on what the plaintiff says. No notice to you. No oportunity to respond. The judge hears one side and makes a decision that same day. Thats the system.
Aproximately 90% of initial civil petitions for domestic violence restraining orders are granted. The system is designed this way. Judges are instructed to err on the side of protection. By the time you find out a TRO exists against you, its already been approved. Your not starting at zero – your starting behind.
TROs can be filed at the County Superior Court during business hours or at the local police department after hours and weekends. If filed in the evening or on a weekend, a Municipal Court Judge conducts a phone hearing with the plaintiff. The plaintiff dosent need a lawyer to file. They fill out forms, tell there story, and the judge decides.
Once the TRO is signed, it prohibits contact with the plaintiff in any form. It can remove you from your home – even if your name is on the deed. It can bar you from seeing your children. It can require you to surrender your firearms immediatly. All of this happens before you've said a single word in your own defense.
The TRO lasts until the FRO hearing, typically scheduled within 10 days. What you do in those 10 days determines everything.
The 10 Days That Determine Everything
Most defendants destroy there case before the FRO hearing even starts. The 10-day window between TRO and FRO isnt neutral time – its a trap.
Heres how people incriminate themselves:
- Send a text message explaining yourself? Contempt violation.
- Go back to your own home to grab clothes without permission? Violation.
- Talk to mutual friends asking them to relay a message? Violation.
- Show up at the plaintiffs workplace to "talk things out"? Violation.
Every single violation becomes evidence at the FRO hearing that your dangerous and incapable of following court orders. The judge will look at you and think: "He couldnt even follow the TRO for 10 days. Why would I trust him going forward?"
At the FRO hearing, the plaintiff must prove two things under the Silver v. Silver standard. First, that a "predicate act" of domestic violence occured. Second, that a restraining order is necessary to prevent future abuse. The burden of proof is preponderance of evidence – basicly 51%. Not beyond reasonable doubt like in criminal court. Just slightly more likely then not.
Most defendants focus only on the first prong – "I didnt do what shes claiming." But the second prong is were cases are lost. New Jersey appellate courts have held that if physical violence is proven, the need for protection becomes "perfunctory and self-evident." Theres an assumption built into the system: if it happened once, it will happen again.
Your primary defense weapon is cross-examination. The FRO hearing is your only chance to question the plaintiff under oath. Most plaintiffs have never been cross-examined. There story often falls apart when an experienced attorney asks detailed questions about timing, specifics, and inconsistancies. This is the weapon they dont expect.
New Jersey recognizes 19 predicate acts of domestic violence – including harassment, which can be as vague as "alarming conduct." But not every argument is assault. Not every angry text is harassment under N.J.S.A. 2C:33-4. An experienced attorney can challenge whether the alleged conduct actualy meets the legal definition of the predicate act claimed.
Every case is different. Sometimes the defense is proving nothing happened. Sometimes its proving what happened doesnt meet the legal standard. Sometimes its challenging the second prong – showing theres no actual need for protection going forward. The right strategy depends on your specific facts.
What An FRO Actually Costs You
In New Jersey, a Final Restraining Order is permanant. Unlike most states where protective orders expire after one to three years, New Jersey FROs have no end date. They continue forever unless you successfully petition the court to vacate them – a process that can take years and requires proving a "significant change in circumstances."
If an FRO is entered, you will be fingerprinted and photographed. You will pay a $500 fine. Your name will be placed in the New Jersey Domestic Violence Registry – accessible to law enforcement and courts nationwide. This registry listing can cause delays and questioning at airports. Its searchable.
Under both New Jersey law and federal law – specifically the Lautenberg Amendment (18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(8)) – an FRO triggers a permanant firearm prohibition. You cant purchase, possess, or own firearms for as long as the FRO exists. For law enforcement officers, military personel, or anyone in security, this means career destruction. Federal violation carries up to 10 years imprisonment and fines up to $250,000.
Heres the paradox that nobody explains: a restraining order is technicaly a civil matter, not criminal. The burden of proof is only 51%. But the consequences are worse then many criminal convictions. You face criminal-level punishment with civil-level protections. Theres no right to a public defender. No presumption of innocence. No "beyond reasonable doubt."
FROs affect custody proceedings – judges will view you as a proven domestic violence perpetrator. They impact employment, especialy in healthcare, education, law enforcement, or any field requiring background checks. For non-citizens, FROs can affect visa renewals, green card applications, and potentialy lead to deportation proceedings.
The 10-day window before the FRO hearing is critical. What you do right now – not next week, not tomorrow – determines whether these consequences become permanant.
What To Do Right Now
Do not contact the plaintiff in any way. No texts. No calls. No emails. No messages through friends or family. No showing up to "talk things out." Dont do it. Every contact is a violation that will be used against you at the FRO hearing.
Start gathering evidence immediately:
- Text messages showing context the plaintiff left out
- Emails contradicting their timeline
- Witness names who saw what actually happened
- Security camera footage if it exists
- Any documentation that supports your version
You have 10 days. Use them to build your defense, not to contact the plaintiff.
Get an experienced restraining order attorney immediately. Not a general practice lawyer. Not your divorce attorney. Someone who handles FRO hearings regularly and understands the Silver test, predicate act definitions, and cross-examination strategies. Todd Spodek has handled restraining order defense cases across New Jersey. The FRO hearing is not the time to figure things out.
If your reading this, your probably scared and angry. Thats understandable. A restraining order feels unfair when you know the other side isnt telling the truth. But your anger wont help you at the hearing. Evidence will. Strategy will. An experienced attorney will.
Call Spodek Law Group at 212-300-5196. The consultation is free. We'll review your TRO, assess your options, and explain exactly what to expect at the FRO hearing. The 10-day clock is running. Every day you wait is a day lost for building your defense.
Were here when you need us.
