Welcome to Spodek Law Group. Our goal is to give you the reality of what happens when someone files an order of protection against you in New York - not the sanitized version other law firms present, not the court system's optimistic fiction, but the actual truth about what you are facing right now.
If you are reading this, something has already gone wrong. Maybe you just got served with papers. Maybe police showed up at your door and told you to leave your own home. Maybe you learned about the order of protection from your employer's HR department. Whatever brought you here at this hour - and we know many people find this page at 2am when they cant sleep - you need to understand something that will change how you approach everything that comes next.
The order of protection system in New York is not designed to determine truth. It is designed to prevent worst-case outcomes. And that single design principle explains everything about why you feel like the system has already decided you are guilty before you ever stepped into a courtroom.
The Moment Everything Changes
Heres the thing that nobody tells you when you first get served with an order of protection: the damage has already happened. Not the damage to your reputation or your relationship - those will come. We mean the structural damage to your legal position.
In New York, a judge can issue a temporary order of protection ex parte. That phrase - "ex parte" - means the judge heard from the other side only. You were not there. You did not get to tell your version. You did not get to show the judge the text messages that prove this is about the custody fight, not about safety. The judge read an affidavit full of allegations, made a decision, and now your life has been rearranged.
By the time you get your hearing - which could be weeks or months away depending on court backlog - a new reality has been established. Your children have been living with the other parent as their primary residence. The house you paid for is somewhere you cannot go. Your personal belongings, your documents, your medications - all of it is on the other side of a legal wall you cannot cross.
Think about that for a second. The "temporary" order has already created the permanent facts that will be used against you in the custody case.
Why The Court Takes Their Side First
Let that sink in. The family court system in New York uses what lawyers call the "preponderance of evidence" standard. That sounds technical, but what it actualy means is this: if the judge thinks something is 50.1% likely to be true, they can act on it. Thats the lowest burden of proof in the entire legal system.
Now combine that low standard with the incentive structure judges face. Heres were people get confused - they assume judges are neutral arbiters looking for truth. But judges are also humans making career calculations. No judge in New York history has lost their position for issuing too many orders of protection. But judges have absolutly ended careers by denying an OP that came before a violent incident.
So what happens? Judges issue temporary orders of protection based on allegations alone. They figure the hearing will sort out the truth later. But by the time "later" arrives, you have already lost months with your children. You have already been paying for two residences. You have already been explaining to your employer why you were arrested.
The system isnt broken. The system is working exactly as designed. And its designed for one outcome: protective orders get issued.
The Violation Trap Most People Walk Into
OK so heres the part that makes experienced defense attorneys shake their heads. Most of our clients at Spodek Law Group dont get in serious trouble for whatever was alleged in the original petition. They get in trouble for violating the order after it was issued.
And the violations happen because nobody explained the rules.
Critical warning: In New York, only the person the order is against can violate it. The petitioner - the person who filed for protection - can call you. They can text you. They can show up at your door crying and asking you to come back. And if you respond, if you walk through that door, if you send one text message back - you are the one who gets arrested.
Read that again becuase its counterintuitive. The person who claims to need protection from you can contact you whenever they want. But if you respond, your looking at criminal contempt charges.
We have seen this pattern hundreds of times. The petitioner reaches out - sometimes testing you, sometimes genuinely wanting to reconcile - and you respond because your a human being who wants to fix the situation. Then the police arrive. Then you spend the night in jail. Then your bail on the underlying case gets revoked because violating an OP is a bail condition.
One text message. Thats all it takes.
What Happens When You Skip The Hearing
Heres were it gets dangerous. Some people recieve the order of protection paperwork and make a catastrophic decision: they decide not to show up for the hearing.
The reasoning sounds logical. "These allegations are ridiculous. Anyone can see their lying. I dont need to dignify this with my presence. Eventually the truth will come out."
But heres the kicker - if you fail to appear at your family court hearing, the judge doesnt say "well, he must have a good reason." The judge enters what is called a default judgement. That means every single allegation in the petition is automaticaly deemed true. All of them. The things that happend and the things that didnt happen. The exaggerations and the outright fabrications.
Once that default judgement is entered, the petitioner gets everything they asked for. A final order of protection, potentially lasting two to five years. Custody arrangments that assume you are dangerous. Firearm surrender orders. Complete exclusion from your home.
And getting that default judgement overturned? Its technicaly possible but practicialy very difficult. You have to show you had a legitimate excuse for missing the hearing and a meritorious defense to present. Courts dont like to reward people who didnt take the process seriously.
As Todd Spodek explains to clients: "Showing up is not optional. You dont have to like the system. You dont have to think its fair. But you absolutly have to participate in it, or it will run you over."
Criminal Charges Nobody Warned You About
Heres the reality check that stops people cold. Violating an order of protection in New York is not a civil matter. Its not a slap on the wrist. Its not something that gets worked out between lawyers. Its a criminal offense that can send you to prison.
The escalation works like this:
Criminal contempt in the second degree is a Class A misdemeanor. You intentionaly disobey the court order - maybe you sent a text, maybe you drove by the house, maybe you showed up to your kids school event not realizing the order covered that location. Maximum penalty: one year in jail and a $1,000 fine.
But wait. If your violation involved any conduct that could reasonably make the petitioner fear for their safety - and thats a subjective standard the prosecution loves to stretch - you get charged with criminal contempt in the first degree. Thats a Class E felony. Up to four years in state prison. $5,000 fine.
And if there was any physical contact or injury during your violation - even if it wasnt intentional, even if you were just trying to retrieve your belongings from what used to be your home - you face aggravated criminal contempt. Class D felony. Seven years in prison.
These are felony convictions that follow you permanantly. Employment background checks. Housing applications. Professional licenses. Immigration status. Child custody determinations in every future proceeding.
One moment of frustration. One attempt to talk things out. One response to a text message they sent you. Thats the distance between your current life and a felony record.
The Parallel Track Nobody Mentions
Something else you need to understand: the order of protection in family court operates on a completely seperate track from any criminal charges. This catches alot of people off guard.
Lets say the original incident led to criminal charges that were later dismissed. Maybe the prosecutor realized the evidence was weak. Maybe witnesses recanted. Maybe the case just fell apart. You might think: "Great, its over. The criminal case is gone, so the order of protection must be gone too."
It dosent work that way.
Under Family Court Act Section 812(2)(b), the family court can proceed with the order of protection even after criminal charges are dismissed. The burden of proof is different. The rules of evidence are more relaxed. The petitioner gets another shot at establishing their allegations in a forum where they only need to meet that 50.1% standard.
Spodek Law Group has represented clients who beat criminal charges decisively - charges that should have ended the matter entirely - only to find themselves right back in court fighting the same allegations under a different legal standard. And loosing.
This parallel track also means that everything you say and do in the family court proceeding can potentialy be used in criminal proceedings, and vice versa. The strategy has to account for both tracks simultaniously, which is why having attorneys who understand both criminal defense and family law is not a luxury - its a necessity.
The Custody Connection Most Lawyers Wont Explain
Now heres the part that defense attorneys sometimes dont want to talk about. Your order of protection case and your custody case are deeply intertwined - and fighting one aggresively can hurt you in the other.
Think about it from the judges perspective. They are seeing you in two contexts: someone accused of conduct dangerous enough to warrant a protection order, and someone seeking custody or visitation with children. Every move you make in the OP case is observed and evaluated for what it says about your judgment as a parent.
Come in too hot, attack the petitioners credibility too aggresively, and you risk looking like exactly the kind of person who needs to be kept away from a family. Come in too passive, accept a consent order just to make it go away, and now you have a documented history of protection orders that custody evaluators will cite for years.
The strategy matters. Not just what you argue, but how you argue it. Not just what you prove, but how you conduct yourself while proving it.
Todd Spodek has navigated this tension in hundreds of cases. The goal is not to "win" the order of protection case at any cost. The goal is to protect your long-term interests - your relationship with your children, your reputation, your freedom - while dealing with the immediate crisis.
The Timeline Nobody Prepares You For
Most people think an order of protection case is a single event - you go to court, you argue your side, the judge decides. But thats the fantasy version. In reality, an OP case unfolds over months, sometimes years, and each stage has its own dangers.
Day one through day fourteen is the emergency period. The temporary order is in place. Your trying to figure out where to live, how to see your kids, whether to tell your employer whats happening. This is when most accidental violations occur becuase people havent fully internalized what the order prohibits.
Week two through week eight is typically when the first real hearing happens. But dont expect resolution. Family courts in New York - especialy in the city - are backed up. Your first appearance might just be a scheduling conference. Meanwhile, the temporary order remains in effect. The petitioner is establishing the new normal. Your kids are getting used to not seeing you.
Month two through month six is when fact-finding hearings actually occur. This is where testimony gets taken, evidence gets presented, and the judge starts forming opinions. But even here, cases often get continued, adjourned, rescheduled. Every delay benefits the petitioner because the "status quo" argument gets stronger.
Month six and beyond is when final orders get issued - or cases settle. By this point, if you havent been strategic, the damage is baked in. Whatever custody arrangement has been in place for six months becomes the baseline for everything that follows.
Heres the uncomfortable truth: the system moves slowly enough that the temporary order becomes semi-permanant before anyone decides whether it should have been issued at all.
The Evidence Problem You Need To Understand
Something that catches alot of people off guard is how evidence works in family court versus criminal court. The rules are different. And not in your favor.
In criminal court, there are strict rules about what evidence can be admitted, how witnesses can be examined, what kind of hearsay is allowed. These protections exist because criminal convictions carry serious penalties and we want to be sure before locking someone up.
Family court plays by different rules. The formal rules of evidence are relaxed. Hearsay - someone saying what someone else told them - can be admitted if the judge thinks its reliable. The petitioner can testify about things you alegedly said months ago, with no corroboration, and the judge can consider it.
This means the petitioner can build a case out of accumulated small allegations that would never survive criminal scrutiny. They can paint a picture of patterns and behaviors that, individually, might be innocent but together create an impression. And your ability to challenge that picture is limited by the informal nature of the proceeding.
At Spodek Law Group, we approach family court evidence with the same rigor we bring to criminal cases. Text messages get authenticated. Timelines get verified. Contradictions get documented. Because even in a court with relaxed rules, thorough preparation matters.
Common Mistakes That Make Everything Worse
We have seen hundreds of order of protection cases. The patterns are depresingly predictable. Heres what people do that makes their situation worse:
Venting on social media. You feel wronged, you want people to know the truth, you post about how crazy your ex is being. Guess what shows up at the next hearing? Screenshots of everything you wrote. Even if what you said was true, the judge sees someone who cant control themselves, who puts their frustration above their strategy.
Trying to communicate through the children. The order says no contact with the petitioner, so you figure telling your kid to pass a message is fine. Its not. The judge sees manipulation. The custody evaluator sees boundary violations. What felt like a workaround becomes evidence of exactly the kind of behavior the order was meant to prevent.
Recording conversations without understanding the law. New York is a one-party consent state for recordings - you can record a conversation your part of without the other persons consent. But how you use those recordings matters. And recording your children without proper guidance can create more problems then it solves.
Representing yourself to save money. Family court allows self-representation. But going up against a petitioner with an attorney while your navigating the system alone is like playing chess against someone who knows all the rules while your still figuring out how the peices move. The money you save on legal fees gets paid in outcomes that disadvantage you for years.
Assuming the truth will come out. It wont. Not automaticaly. Not without someone presenting it clearly, documenting it thoroughly, and arguing it persuasivly. The truth doesnt emerge in legal proceedings - it gets established by whoever does the better job of establishing it.
Early Warning Signs You Need An Attorney Now
If any of these describe your situation, you should be picking up the phone, not scrolling to the next article:
You just got served with temporary order of protection papers and dont know what they mean. You need someone who can explain your rights and the timeline before you make a mistake.
Your hearing is scheduled within the next few weeks. The court moves faster then people expect, and showing up unprepared is almost as bad as not showing up at all.
The petitioner has been contacting you despite the order. This is a trap waiting to spring. You need documentation and a strategy for what to do when they reach out again.
You already violated the order and are facing criminal charges. The time for wishful thinking is over. You need a criminal defense attorney who understands how OP violations are prosecuted and how to mitigate the damage.
Theres a custody case running paralel to the OP case. The strategy for one affects the outcome of the other. You need attorneys who can see both chess boards at once.
You believe the allegations are false and are considering not participating. Stop. Ignoring the case guarentees you lose it. Come in and talk to someone before making that decision.
What Spodek Law Group Does Differently
Most law firms treat order of protection cases as routine paperwork. Show up, argue the basics, move on to the next case. That approach might work when the stakes are low and everyone is operating in good faith.
But the cases that come to Spodek Law Group are not routine. They involve allegations that could end careers. They involve children caught between warring parents. They involve clients who are being painted as monsters by people who know exactly how to work the system.
Our approach starts with understanding what actualy happened - not just the legal facts, but the relationship dynamics, the timing of the filing, the real motivations behind the petition. Many order of protection cases are not really about protection. Their about positioning for the divorce. Their about punishing someone for leaving. Their about gaining leverage for support negotiations.
Once we understand what were really fighting, we can build a strategy that addresses both the immediate crisis and the longer-term objectives. Sometimes that means aggresive litigation. Sometimes that means careful negotiation. Sometimes it means gathering evidence that exposes the real motivation behind the petition and presents it in a way the court cannot ignore.
We dont take shortcuts. We dont assume anything. And we dont let clients walk into hearings unprepared for what their going to face.
The Path Forward Starts With One Call
Look, we understand your probably exhausted. Your probably scared. Your probably wondering how your life went from normal to this in what feels like overnight.
But heres what we need you to understand: the clock is running. The temporary order of protection has already started shaping the facts that will be used against you. Every day that passes without a strategic response is a day the other side's narrative becomes more established.
You have rights. You have defenses. You have options that nobody has explained to you yet.
The consultation is confidential. The assessment is honest - we will tell you what were looking at, what the realistic outcomes are, and what it takes to fight this effectivly.
Call Spodek Law Group at 212-300-5196. This call costs nothing. Not making it could cost everything.
